Friday, April 9, 2010

Real Estate 101

There's nothing worse then a well dressed, snobby realtor (driving a BMW).  Okay, obviously there are some people who are worse, like people who perform torture or the folks at the IRS.  But at least the water boarders and IRS crew are up front about just how heinous they are.   Snobby ass Realtor's do that whole condescending thing, and make you feel like you are a worthless slob if you don't buy the peice of crap they are allowing you to buy.

gem in search of savvy buyer

Snobby-ass Realtor's Ad
Location, location, location.  Sought after Upper Snobville address and Upper Snobville school district.  This quaint and cozy gem is just waiting for that savvy buyer with an eye for detail and decorating.  Lovely mature lot, eat in kitchen, master suite with potential for separate sitting area.  This one won't last long.  Sophisticated buyers only.

My translation
It's a dump, it's a dump, it's a dump.  Abandoned Upper Snobville address and tax code.  This tiny peice of shit is just waiting for you to take a sledge hammer to it and knock it the hell down.  A farmer with a bull dozer would be a good candidate  Lots of manure in the yard, no one would eat in this kitchen, other then the moldy mattress on the floor there is no room for you to sit anywhere.  Once the March winds arrive, this one won't last long.  Must be old enough to enter into  a binding contract.


2 comments:

  1. Perhaps you hafta get your real estate agt into a good round of Whales Tales before you close - even in Havertownford - not sure, but you SLAY ME!!!! LMAO PB!!!

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  2. thanx Meredith - instead of Whales Tales, I'm thinking of suggesting Russian Roulet - only she hold the gun to her own head - if it goes off without a bullet, then I'll buy the lousy house.

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